How to Annoy KHR Characters
by Tsuyoshi95
Summary: *Cough* Title *Cough* WARNING!AUTHOR MUST NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURIES! YOU ARE WARNED! TAKE CAUTION! Extreme crack
1. Chapter 1: Target 1: Hibari Kyoya

WELL MY DEAR FRIENDS….. I got this stroke of genius (And this sense of self destruction) so I decided to make this fic =D

No need for summary, yes? ;)

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How To Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 1: Target 1: Hibari Kyoya

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST, AS YOU WILL BE 'BITTEN TO DEATH'.**

**YOU ARE FOREWARNED!**

Put daycare flyers all around Namimori. The location is Hibari's house.

Tell Sasagawa Ryohei that boxing will be held in the Reception room from now on.

Teach Hibird how to sing '_Old Macdonald Had a Farm'_ make sure it sings that all the time instead of the Namimori Middle School Anthem.

Tell Lambo that Hibari will give him grape candy, and that he will willingly be Lambo's most devout follower.

Swap his Prefect armband into a Hannah Montana (or Dora, either works) fan armband.

Get Gianini to reinstall his tonfa's into pom-pom's.

Ask him if he's a closet pervert. Your argument is his catchphrase: "I'll bite you to death."

If he doesn't respond to that, ask him if he's related to Inuyasha (once again, his catchphrase.)

Book an appointment with a psychologist for him. Tell the doctor that your cousin thinks he's a dog and has excessive violent tendencies.

Ask him that since he calls people 'herbivore' does that mean he only eats meat?

Tell him that vegetables are an essential part of human diet. If he doesn't say anything, whisper loudly: I knew it! So you're secretly a dog in disguise, then!

Ask him if he chases cats when he sees them.

Decorate his locker with pictures of Rokudo Mukuro.

Hold the school's anime club meetings on the roof Hibari uses.

Ask if there's something going on between him and Dino. (Wriggling your eyebrows up and down after this one works wonders)

Decorate his box weapon with pink glitter glue and rhinestone stickers.

Hide his tonfa's from him.

Tell Xanxus that Hibari challenges him to a fight. It also wouldn't hurt to say that Hibari insulted him greatly. For bonus points, pay Mammon to disguise himself as Hibari and insult Xanxus.

Laugh as Hibari gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

Spread a rumor about how stupid he looked while trying to find his tonfa's.

Video tape the whole thing and post it on YouTube.

Ask if he has a thing for Tsuna.

**(WARNING! AFTER THAT ONE, YOU MUST BE WARY OF GOKUDERA HAYATO, AS WELL AS HIBARI! YOU ARE WARNED!)**

Transfer out of Namimori as fast as you can.

If that is not possible, then make plans for staying in your house for at least three months.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

ANNNND FINISH!

Next chapter: Chapter 2: Target 2: Gokudera Hayato


	2. Chapter 2: Target 2: Gokudera Hayato

FIRST OF ALL!  
>=D<p>

I'd like to thank all that reviewed, alerted, and favorite'd

YOU GAVE ME A BOOST IN CONFIDENCE! THANK YOU ALL! *Bows*

Whoops, I forgot to put up the disclaimer, so here it is!

Disclaimer: KHR is NOT mine. If it were, there'd be a LOT more female characters to get rid of the yaoi. *Shudder*

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How To Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 2: Target 2: Gokudera Hayato

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST, AS YOU WILL FIND BEING BOMBED QUITE PAINFUL! TAKE PRECAUTION!**

Tell Gokudera that you saw Tsuna and Yamamoto holding hands. (This one is a classic. You can keep the 'Tsuna' and keep swapping people. Hibari and Xanxus tend to bring out the best effects.)

Persuade Bianchi into moving in with Gokudera.

Tell Sasagawa Ryohei that Gokudera wants to join the boxing club.

In front of Tsuna, start to loudly talk about how you think Belphegor is awesome. It wouldn't hurt to mention that Yamamoto won his ring battle, but he didn't.

If you ever see him and Yamamoto standing together, scream "YAOI!" loudly and point. Getting Haru to help would be also be ideal.

Give Gokudera 'Genkishi' eyebrows while he is sleeping. Laugh when Hibari 'bites him to death' the next day for having eyebrows that goes against the school rules.

An alternative is to give him a bowl cut, and then give him the matching 'thick eyebrows'. (Watch Naruto. You'll get the joke)

Mock him for not being able to control his own box weapon.

Point out that Belphegor can control _his_ box weapon with ease.

As an afterthought, add that Yamamoto would be a better right-hand-man than him.

Question his naming sense. This one is 100% accurate, because no-one would name a cat 'Melon'. (Uri = Melon)

Ask Tsuna to be your boyfriend (Or girlfriend! xD) in front of him.

On his birthday, decorate his locker with Hello Kitty and Snoopy stickers, and write 'I'm a Big Kid Now!' on it with permanent markers.

Tell him that smoking is bad for his health and confiscate his cigarettes.

Give him a pipe instead, and tell him he looks a lot cooler.

Ask him if he's secretly 100 years old. Your argument is his white hair. Ignore him if he says his hair is silver. Insist that it's white.

Give Lambo and I-pin both a whole truck-load of candy and shove them into Gokudera's apartment at two in the morning. Make him run a marathon the next day. Give him a picture of Tsuna for motivation.

Tell him that Tsuna thinks that baseball is a lot cooler than dynamite.

Whenever Gokudera pulls out his dynamites, scream "TERRORIST!" on the top of your lungs, flail your arms, and run around.

Look at him innocently when the police come and say, "I didn't do ANYTHING…" Mosey along while he's being dragged off to the police office.

**WARNING! AUTHOR MUST NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR UNTIMELY OR PREMATURE DEATHS! PROCEDE AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Yay~ One more chapter! xD

Reviews are appreciated, and I would love to hear some of your ideas!

Next chapter: Chapter 3: Target 3: Superbi Squalo.


	3. Chapter 3: Target 3: Superbi Squalo

Well, thanks to lots and lots of review *wriggles eyebrows* I updated again! HAR DE HAR HAR HAR!

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine. If it were, then People in the Varia would have last names.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How To Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter3: Target 3: Superbi Squalo

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST, UNLESS YOU FEEL THAT BEING CUT INTO SMALL PIECES IS GOOD THERAPY! **

**TAKE PRECAUTION!**

Tell Squalo that he has an unhealthy obsession with Xanxus.

Say that because of that obsession, he might even be related to Levi or Gokudera.

Give him a perm and dye his hair blonde.

Force him into a blue gingham dress and play the 'Wizard of Oz' theme song.

Take a picture and post it onto the official Vongola website bulletin board.

Give him a buzz cut, and say it's because Xanxus will never be Vongola Boss anyways. Take a picture of _that, _too. You know what to do with it. ;)

(Warning! Make sure Xanxus doesn't hear you say that! The best defense against that is to make sure Gokudera does, though.)

For Halloween, give him a shark costume.

Tell Xanxus that Squalo has a long-time crush on him.

Laugh as Xanxus hurls wine glasses (both empty and full) at him.

Tell him that Yamamoto abandoned both baseball and kendo to cross-dress. In a quiet voice, say that it was for him.

If you ever get the chance, when you see Squalo eating in Yamamoto's Sushi shop, go in ad order shark sushi.

Name a piece of the sushi 'Squalo' and make lots of indecent and excessive noise while chomping on it.

Scream in triumph when 'Squalo' the sushi is 'dead'.

Explain that he (the sushi) was being a jerk to you. Put the meal on Squalo's tab.

Run.

Say, in front of the Varia, that you found porn books in Squalo's room. Of course, you didn't, but that's ok. He probably thinks about Xanxus _that_ way, so it's just a teensy little white lie.

Say that Belphegor would make a better second-in-command than him.

Ask him if he likes Yamamoto, Dino, or Xanxus.

If he responds by saying (or yelling) 'VOOOIIIIIII!' say, "I'll assume that was an 'all three of them, hehehe.'"

Call him a player. Once again, wriggling your eyebrows afterwards does wonders.

On his birthday, give him a coupon for a lifetime supply of tuna.

Put _that_ on his tab too.

**WARNING! AFTER DOING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING (NOT THAT IT'S RECOMMENDED) MAKE SURE YOU GET FAR FAAAAR AWAY FROM ITALY. BEST PRECAUTION IS TO MAKE SURE GOKUDERA HAYATO HEARS YOU. HE'LL HAVE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON YOU THEN. UNLESS YOU READ (AND COMPLETED) CHAPTER 2. THEN YOU'RE SCREWED.**

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

WHOOOOOOOT

ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE! I'm getting the hang of this! :D

Hibari: I'll bite you to death, herbivore.

Gokudera: WHY YOU BAKA-ONNA! *rage*

Squalo: VOOOIIIIII! YOU WANNA DIE, TRASH?

Tsuyoshi: ARGHHH! Author power! I'LL ERASE YOUR TONFAS, DYNAMITE, AND SWORD IF YOU KEEP THREATENING ME!

All three: *GLOWER*

Well, keep in tuned for the next chapter:

Chapter4: Target 4: Rokudo Mukuro


	4. Chapter 4: Target 4: Rokudo Mukuro

Aiyaaaaaaaa I haven't updated in so long D=

I'm sorry! *dodges rotten tomatoes*

Your reviews are awesome! Keep it up, keep it up!

BTW: sorry for any reviewers that I haven't replied to….

Disclaimer: If I owned KHR, then the Varia would so totally be the Tenth Generation Guardians and Boss instead of Tsuna. *Makes face*

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 4: Target 4: Rokudo Mukuro

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FLOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOU WILL BE POSESSED AND EMBARRASED SO MUCH YOU'LL WANT TO WEAR A PAN OVER YOUR HEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!**

**TAKE PRECAUTION!**

Crete a Spirit Day for Namimori Middle called 'Pineapple Day'. You know what to do from there, but for best results, play 'Kufufu' on the P.A. system for the whole day. The most Pineapple-y one gets to kiss Chrome. **WARNING! MAKE SURE HIBARI DOES **_**NOT**_** KNOW YOU DID IT! PUSH THE BLAME ONTO SOMEONE YOU HATE! **Or Tsuna.

Tell Mukuro that Ken and Chikusa plan on abandoning him to go off and take over Kokuyo Middle as top delinquents.

Show him an '1869' picture. Hibari on top. It wouldn't hurt to tell him that Hibari drew it too.

Watch him draw an '1827' picture.

Show it to Hibari_ and_ Gokudera.

Laugh as he's killed by the death aura emanating from Gokudera.

While he's being tonfa'd by Hibari.

Ask Chrome (In front of him) if she thought Daemon Spade was hot. *Wink wink nudge nudge* 'He tied you up!'

Once again, run.

Ask him: Since you said that your six paths are from six lives, doesn't that make you around, at least four-hundred eighty?

Add as an afterthought: Wouldn't that make you a pedophile, since you call Chrome 'My Chrome'?

Scream for the police loudly and yell 'Creeper' or 'Pedo'. Technically, the 'Creeper' part was correct because Fuuta ranked him as the fourth creepiest Mafiosi.

And besides, you say you want Tsuna's body? _Way_ creepy.

**EXTRA! HOW TO ANNOY DAEMON SPADE!**

Since Mukuro is a pineapple, doesn't that make Daemon Spade a double pineapple? Does that make Daemon second in strength to Mukuro?

Ask him if he purposefully acts like a creeper.

Run.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

LOL I'm tellin' ya people, writing this is derogatory to my health! I'm getting killed by these people here!

Hibari: Herbivore… *tonfa*

Gokudera: You baka onna! *dynamite*

Squalo: VOOOOOOOOOOOI! *sword*

Tsuyoshi: Ehehehehe?

Keep in tuned for the next chapter: Chapter 5: Target 5: Xanxus

OH RIGHT! AND! REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IT IS…..ermm very cool to review…? o_O


	5. Chapter 5: Target 5: Xanxus

UWAHHHHHHH *SOB* I'm SO HAPPY I GOT 10 REVIEWS!

To prove my gratefulness, I shall post this chapter in super speed! :]

Disclaimer: If KHR were mine, Lambo would be the main character. xD

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOU WILL BE SHOT SO MANY TIMES, YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A HUMAN SPONGE. SERIOUSLY.**

'Ne, ne, Xanxus-_chan_ why do you call Tsuna weak if he beat you? Badly? Does that mean you're the weakest? At least, say, Belphegor won his battle, right?'

Run. Far, far away.

Persuade Squalo to believe that Xanxus _lurrrvs_ him, and watch as he screams at Xanxus.

Laugh as Xanxus goes from confused to pissed, and take pictures.

Post those on the official Vongola website, too. Beside the pictures of Squalo you took, unless someone deleted them.

Photoshop an 'XS' picture and post _that_ on the website too.

Show him pictures (that you edited on Photoshop, of course) of Tsuna wearing a maid costume, and watch his expression.

No matter what his expression was, make sure to scream loudly and exclaim 'OH MY GOD, XANXUS BLUSHED!'

**WARNING! AS A SAFETY PRECAUTION, IT IS BEST NOT TO LET **_**ANY**_** OF TSUNA'S GAURDIANS SEE YOU DO THAT! YOU ARE WARNED…**

If you can, cancel the Varia's subscription to the beef place, and instead sign a contract with Girl Scouts. Make sure the cookies received are rainbow colored teddy bears.

Tell Lussuria that Xanxus actually immensely adores him as a motherly figure.

Watch Lussuria coo and fawn over Xanxus, and take a picture.

Edit that picture and make it say 'A mother hen looks after its chick'. Create a 'hearts' frame.

You know what to do with the picture…

Run to Xanxus saying that Byakuran is molesting Tsuna.

Laugh as he gets worked up in a frenzy, and when he gets to the place (best to tell him it's halfway across the world) and finds nothing, say in an innocent voice 'Whoops, I guess it might've been part of my imagination'. Dawdle away…

Decorate his room with pink unicorns, rainbows, and Hello Kitty when he's on a mission. Stake the blame on Squalo (as always).

On some random day, say in a serious voice, "Xanxus, are you secretly a very shy person? I mean, most violent (and mentally unstable) people like you are only the way they are because they are not accepted by society. Does that mean you're socially awkward?"

Convince the rest of the Vongola to hold a party to get Xanxus to embrace society and make more friends.

Make sure he does NOT know you planned it.

When he gets drunk, drag him to Squalo and wink at him saying 'You know what to do, right~?' *wink wink nudge nudge*

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

To be honest, that was a rather hard chapter for me to write since I never really analyzed Xanxus' character, but oh well.

OMYGOD I GOT 2X THE REVIEWS ON THE LAST CHAPTER! xD

Thank you all~

And, on request, the next victim is…: Chapter 6: Target 6: Bianchi


	6. Chapter 6: Target 6: Bianchi

Maa… I try to update often, sooooo this came out pretty early.

I blame my cousin for rushing me Dx.

Bianchi… well, I guess she has a good character, so it was pretty easy to come up with this. Enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How To Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter6: Target 6: Bianchi

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO EAT ANY FOOD STUFF WITHOUT FEARING POISONING, AND/OR MELTING FROM RADIOACTIVITY!**

**TAKE PRECAUTION!**

Tell Bianchi you saw Romeo and Reborn making out. For extra realism, get Mukuro (Chrome's just too innocent to think of something good xD) to create an illusion (of you-know-what!) and take pictures.

Bully Lambo into firing the ten year Bazooka at himself. Make sure Bianchi sees him.

Mosey along…

Whisper loudly to Gokudera, 'Don't you hate the food your sister makes? It's almost worse that her declarations of 'love' to Reborn. Now _those_ are embarrassing.' Make sure he doesn't know his sister is around.

When she's sleeping, shave her hair and draw on her face with permanent markers. Give her a mustache. Blame Lambo. (Ahahaha, poor Lambo xD)

Swap all of her poison cooking ingredients with marshmallows.

Sing 'The Duck Song' at the top of your lungs when she's sleeping, and get Lambo to help.

Whenever Reborn gets called to a mission, conveniently 'forget' to tell her, and watch her go into a craze as her beloved Reborn is missing.

Laugh as she prepares to kill people with her poison cooking.

Tell her that each time she proclaims her 'love' to her little brother he ends up frothing at the mouth and goes into a near-death state.

Ask whether or not 'love' is supposed to do that.

Send both M.M. and Mammon to the Sawada household and watch as a hot-blooded battle between 'love' and 'money' ensues…

Buy a bag of popcorn and cheer MM and Mammon on.

Adjust her scale so each time she steps on it, it shows twenty more pounds than it's supposed to.

Laugh as she yells in rage.

Say: 'Maybe it's because of the food that you make… You do know that most of the famous cooks in the world are preposterously overweight, yes?'

Put blue hair dye into her shampoo and/or conditioner and watch her hair color go from pink to those ugly brown-ish blacks…. Laugh.

**WARNING! IF ANY, AND I MEAN **_**ANY**_** OF THE FOLLOWING ARE COMPLETED…PREPARE FOR YOUR DEATH…OR WORSE.**

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Meh, a bit shorter than I'd liked but… Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving for all you Canadians out there! Oh right, and you guys can request for characters….

Next Chapter:

Chapter 7: Target 7: Yamamoto Takeshi


	7. Chapter 7: Target 7: Yamamoto Takeshi

OHLALALALA~ IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN~~~ WHO ARE _YOU_ GONNA BE, HMM? Imma be Hiba-chan :)

Disclaimer(whoops, forgot to put this little thing on last time;): **KHR DOES NOT BELONG TO ME! IF IT DID, THERE WOULDN'T **_**BE**_** AND ARCOBALENO ARC!**

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 7: Target 7: Yamamoto Takeshi

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOU WILL FIND MOST OF THESE UNEFFECTIVE, AND WILL END UP IN A MENTAL INSTITUTE DUE TO LACK OF EFFECTIVENESS! YOU ARE FORWARNED!**

Scream 'WHAAAAAAT?' in his ear whenever he says something. Repeat for days.

Break all his baseball bats and stuff them in Gokudera's locker. (Gokudera: WHAT? WHY ME?)

Watch as Yamamoto sends one of those 'Oh, I'm not angry, I'll just throw a curveball at you so hard you won't be able to tell red from green' smiles of death at Gokudera.

Laugh at them bickering (in Yamamoto's case, smiling).

Take photo. You know what to do with photo. ;) I have trained you all well, my dears.

Set as Yamamoto's profile picture on Facebook.

Send an 'Engaged' or 'In a Relationship with' request to Gokudera. Or Squalo. Or _both_.

Bonus points if either accepts. Cookies if both do.

New status: I LOVE GOKU-CHAN _AND_ SQU-CHAN! /\

During the 'Before Ring Battle' arc, vandalize the reception room and write Yamamoto's name everywhere. Paste pink sushi stickers on Hibari's tonfas to stay on the safe side.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

That was WAAAY too hard. -/.\- ( ITACHI ICON! xD)

Well, ANYWAYS, that was only HALF my normal word count…. Sorry peeps, Yamamoto is a no go… ==

Next chapter:

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 8: Target 8: Reborn

_**REMEMBER TO REVIEW! :D**_


	8. Chapter 8: Target 8: Reborn

Ummm… hi?

*Dodges rotten tomatoes and other flying debris*

Sorry for not updating! I was kept busy with school, cadets, debate, piano, and other Asian stuff imposed on me out of my free will =..=

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 8: Target 8: Reborn

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST, AS YOU WILL BE KILLED AND TORTURED IN THE MOST GRUESOME WAYS POSSIBLE. YOU ARE FORWARNED!**

"Reborn, Reborn! Do you like Lambo?" *Insert explosion*.

"Reborn, Reborn! Do you like Tsuna?" *Insert spontaneous death*.

"Reborn, Reborn! Do you…" You get the point…..

Show him (in baby form) a picture of Tsuna and Hibari. If he looks unhappy say, "Awwh, is the poor baby _jealous_?".

Come to think of it, if he _doesn't _look unhappy say that anyways.

Ask him, "Hey, Reborn? Would you choose Colonello, Tsuna or Bianchi?"

Act like Lambo for a week.

Better yet, get Mukuro to make an illusion of thousands of Lambos xD.

Hold Tsuna as hostage while threatening Leon. (Hard choice, ne?)

Ask him if he can 'get it up' when he's in baby form.

Run far, far away to an unknown land ruled by a psychotic prince that throws knives and a princess with a frog fetish…

Put orange hair dye into his shampoo. Claim that he looks much more 'cool' this way. LOL

Spread the rumour that he's into guys. I mean, why else would he not want Bianchi, and go through all that trouble to _not_ get married with her? …_Ohlala~_

Tell Bianchi that Reborn doesn't want her. Laugh as she harasses him. Take pictures.

Post on Vongola website: Newly Wed Couple.

When Nana hands him his espresso, take it away from him, and give him a cup of orange juice and say, "Little babies shouldn't drink coffee. Here, take this instead," with a sickeningly sweet expression on your face. Smile!

Ask him if he needs to be tucked in when he's about to sleep. (On another thought, why not just go through the whole 'bedtime' routine for kids? – Meaning help brushing teeth, goodnight kiss (from Tsuna LOL) and a bedtime story)

Tell Reborn that Hibari's going to steal Tsuna if he doesn't hurry up. ;)

Steal Leon and borrow Haru's make-up kit. Have fun with that girls~

Make sure Reborn doesn't know that you did it.

**AUTHOR MUST NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR PREMATURE DEATHS! YOU ARE FORWARNED!**

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

SO SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE! 0(w)0

BTW: would anyone be interested in a HibariOC fic by me? I'm thinking of writing one but…eh…

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! REVIEWS MAKE ME HIGHHHHH

ANYWAYS, stay in tuned for the next chapter:

Chapter 9: Target 9: Belphegor


	9. Chapter 9: Target 9: Belphegor

OK so people, I'm BAAAAAAAACK~

Miss me? xD LOL sorry for not updating, but now that I've finished my music theory exam I'll try and update sooner (even though it's the Christmas season *yaayyyyy*) ALSO: since I got a pretty good reception for the HibariOC fic, I started writing it and we'll see how long it'll live for…  
>Many thanks to my lovely reviewers! Your reviews give me the strength to keep writing :]<p>

**Disclaimer:** KHR isn't mine; if it were, then we'd be seeing WAY more of Squalo.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 9: Target 9: Belphegor

**WARNING! COMPLETING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST. WHOEVER DOES WILL UNDERGO SEVERE TORTURE AND PAIN. YOU ARE FOREWARNED! AUTHOR NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY PREMATURE DEATHS.**

'Prince? I don't see any princes here. On the contrary…Lady Princess, how have you been lately? My, my, that fringe of yours _needs_ to get trimmed, milady. And it is _not_ proper for ladies to play with knives. Here, I've hired you a teacher teach you needlework.'

A week later, hire a dance teacher (classical dances only!)

And then hire a violin and flute teacher.

And then flower arrangement.

And so on.

Make Fran create an illusion of a frog hat for Belphegor. (Twin froggies! xD)

Unsharpen all his knives, and hide them. In Lussuria's room. Where he keeps all those dead men.

An alternative if you _don't_ want to go into Lussuria's room: unsharpen all his knives and coat them with glitter glue and pink rhinestones.

When he's sleeping, ask Lussuria to use his peacock on his head. Watch as the hair grows… Trim his fringe (and any _facial_ hair, _only_ facial hair) and force him into a pink frilly dress.

Drug Fran and put him beside Bel.

Take pictures.

Lots.

Alter pictures. (For best effects, label Bel as 'Princess Bella')

Post pictures.

Laugh at pictures.

Ask him if he prefers Fran, Mammon, or Gokudera.

When he says that their all peasants say, "That makes it more romantic! It's the forbidden love between nobility/royalty and common folk! How romantically cliché!"

When he threatens death, make a 'thinking' pose and say, "But, of course, that only applies to _royalty_ so it really doesn't affect you, right?"

Ask him, "Why do you like frogs so much, Bel? Do you know that frogs are one of the animals that are furthest from royalty?"

Decorate his room with pink unicorns and rainbows.

When he grabs for his sweets, give him a tomato instead.

Tell him that sweets are bad for him and will make him fat. And rot his teeth (why are they so shiny then…?)

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

LOL well, chapter 9 done! YAY!

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

Next chapter upon request:

**How to Annoy KHR People**

Chapter 10: Target 10: Colonello and Lal Mirch


	10. Chapter 10: Target 10: Lal and Colo

ARGHH! I'm SORRY, DEAR FRIENDS D:

LIFE HAS BEEN ANNOYING D:

But hopefully it'll stop be annoying soon :D (y)

HEYHEYHEY, YEKNOW?I GOT 100 REVIEWS! :DDDD

Congratulations to Blueberryxn for being the 100th reviewer although I dunno what'll happen about it :X. You can choose the next character? o_O

**Disclaimer:** KHR isn't mine; if it were, then there would be _wayyy_ less fan service in latest manga -3-

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 10: Target 10: Lal Mirch and Colonello

**WARNING! COMPLETING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST. COMPLETION OF ANY OF THE FOLLOWING ACTS MAY RESULT IN: DECAPITATION, DISEMBOWELMENT, SHOOTING, OR DISMEMBERMENT. YOU ARE FORWARNED! AUTHOR NOT TO BE BLAMED FOR UNTIMELY DEATH!**

'Lal and Colo sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes a little baby in a baby carriage.'

Cue dodging bullets.

'So you don't want Colonello/Lal then? Well I suppose _I_ might want him/her…'

Cue dodging bullets _again_.

'Hey Colonello, if you keep taking baths with Kyoko (albeit in baby form) Lal is gonna be mad at you~'

'Lal chan~ lets go get our hair done, ne~?'

When Colonello and Lal are going on some mission together, switch their baggage. You know what's gonna happen? Colo's gonna see _her_ panties~

Videotape Lal screaming…You know what this means? Blackmail material ;)

^Threatening to tell Reborn usually works, FYI

Run to Colonello screaming, 'Colonello, Colonello! I swear I just saw the Varia %^&* and %&*with Lal! I swear I saw it! Do something about it gosh darnit!'

Ignore the fact that the Varia is in Italy….

Decorate Lal's box weapon and rifles with '_you-know-what'_. ;) Let your imagination run freely, m'dears.

When Lal gets suspicious, tell her Squalo did it.

Watch as they fight/yell/mortally wound each other.

Take pictures at the parts that seem…maybe a _bit_ to heated… And show Colonello.

Watch as he gets mad.

Tell him, 'You know, Squalo's makin' his move already…so unless you wanna lose your woman, you'd better get off yer ass!'

Set Colonello up for a blind date with Kyoko.

Tell Ryohei where they are…

Trip Colonello _just_ when he gets _kinda_ close to Kyoko's face…

And Ryohei swoops in for the punch, and sees the kiss.

On a second thought, tell Tsuna too.

Laugh as Lal yells at him for being a pedo.

Take pictures (of course)

Post and label...you already know where…

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

OMG! FINALLY DONE! D':

OK! I'll keep updating NORMALLY now NEXT CHAPTER:

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 11: Target 11: Byakuran


	11. Chapter 11: Target 11: Byakuran

Well….I can't say that this counted as a 'normal' update time but….. eh, sorry, and well, I guess I'll try a _bit_ harder. For now, enjoy! ;D

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 11: Target 11: Byakuran

**WARNING! COMPLETING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOU WILL BE TORTURED, STUFFED WITH MARSHMALLOWS, AND THEN ROASTED ALIVE. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE.**

Take away his marshmallows

Replace them with mushrooms, and tell him they're a _lot_ healthier.

Ask him, "Ok, so I get that you like Irie Shouichi, but then how would you explain Mukuro, Tsuna _and_ Yuni?"

"What a _playerrrrr~"_

Cue dodging bullets/flying marshmallows/insanity.

Ok, so you know those _wings_ he has? Well…if you ask me, they're just for decoration, because he has those boots already. But _seriously_? White wings? How immensely…..girly.

Book him with Lussuria for shopping and a 'Girl's Day Out'.

Snap pictures of him being forced into dresses, skirts and other articles of clothing _very_ fitting for him.

When he glares and asks you why, tell him that it's because he's like a girl anyways.

Your argument: Byakuran means white orchid. You talk like a girl. You have _long ass hair for Pete's sake_ (longer hair than the author, and the author's a _girl_), and you have a sweet tooth that can only be rivalled by a fellow female's.

"Byakuran chan~. Want me to help you do some of that makeup?" (Remember, Byakuran has that weird mark on his face o_O) When he says yes—actually even if he _does_ say no, bind him up and give him a _beaaaautiful _makeover. Ask Lussuria for help if you can't think of anything. Curl his hair slightly, and force him into a dress.

Find Irie Shouichi and drag him to where you put Byakuran. Watch as his face goes red.

Push the two together and snap pictures.

Tell Lambo, Kyoko, and Haru that Byakuran is holding a 'Sweets Appreciation Day' at his house.

Replace his Mare Ring with a C class storm ring. Laugh as his face goes red while trying to utilise it. In the middle of a battle.

Give him a buzz cut and give the hair to Squalo as a present.

Tell him, "You look _much_ manlier now ;D"

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! DX

Well, don' let me keep you, but FYI: I have no more character suggestions _or_ ideas left. If you want a new chapter sometime, then REVIEW AND SUGGEST. :D THE BUTTON IS RIGHHHT THERE.


	12. Chapter 12: Target 12: Sasagawa Ryohei

So…I guess I'm back, people!

Sorry for the slow update….but it's better than nothing, right? ;D

Oh right, for those of you wonderful, wonderful people who are still reading this, I'll give you all (virtual internet) cookies! Cookies for all! As well, the HibariOC fic that I kept mentioning but never really made is out too, with three chapters! I'll be relying on your support!

* * *

><p><strong>How to Annoy KHR Characters.<strong>

Chapter 12: Target 12: Sasagawa Ryohei

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOUR EARDRUMS WILL SUFFER GREATLY FROM THE SHEER VOLUME OF THE VICTIM!**

**YOU ARE FOREWARNED! DEAFNESS IS NOT TO BE BLAMED ON THE AUTHOR; PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

Set Tsuna on a date with Kyoko.

Make sure he sees them together.

The next day, threaten Tsuna into a date with Haru.

Make sure Ryohei sees _that_ too.

Snap pictures of Tsuna with Hana, future I-pin, Bianchi, and any other girl you can think of.

Show them _all_ to Ryohei.

Laugh your head off as he rages to kill Tsuna...only to be stopped by Gokudera.

During the Varia arc, threaten to tell Kyoko and the other girls what the Guardians do at their 'sumo' matches.

And do you know what this is? Black mail material.

Make him get up at 1AM every day to make your breakfast, clean your house, make your lunch, and mow your lawn.

Insist that it's good for 'EXTREME' training.

Tell him that Muay Thai is totally cooler than boxing.

Tell Lussuria that Ryohei went gay for him.

Using your blackmail material, make him promise not to say 'extreme' for a whole week. Yes, you heard me. A whole _week_.

Forbid him from training for a month.

Make him wear a panda costume for a whole day at school.

Then make him dress like Barbie.

Tell him that if he grew out his hair longer, he would no longer be 'Turf-Top' but 'Wheat-Head'.

Tell Hibari that the boxing club was using the reception room for their practices.

Videotape Hibari beating up the boxing club. Post the video on the Vongola website as 'Decimo's Sun Guardian Badly Beaten by his Cloud Guardian!'

Convince Hibari into closing the boxing club for all the trouble they've caused.

Tell Ryohei that you saw Kyoko being raped by the Kokuyo gang members.

Make sure Kyoko is busy eating cake with Haru on that day.

Laugh when he gets to Kokuyo Land and is told Kyoko isn't there.

* * *

><p>Well, that's the end of this chapter! Stay in tune for the next chapter:<p>

**Chapter 13: Target 13: Chrome**

Remember to review, m'dears! ;D I wish you all a happy month… And April Fool's Day is coming up too…*whistles*


	13. Chapter 13: Target 13: Dokuro Chrome

Hey people! Guess what? I'm back with a new chapter! And this fast, too! I deserve a prize ;D

* * *

><p><strong>How to Annoy KHR Characters.<strong>

Chapter 13: Target 13: Dokuro Chrome

**WARNING! TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AGAINST AS YOUR MENTAL SANITY WILL BE IN GRAVE DANGER WITH EACH STEP YOU COOMPLETE. AS WELL, YOU WILL HAVE THREE PEOPLE OUT FOR YOUR BLOOD!**

**YOU ARE FOREWARNED! MENTAL INSTABILITY AND/OR DANGER IS NOT TO BE BLAMED ON THE AUTHOR; PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!**

Tell her that M.M. and Mukuro are making out.

Laugh as her face goes red and she starts stuttering.

On her birthday buy her lingerie and stick '_From Mukuro'_ on it.

Tell her, "If you put it on, Mukuro-_sama_ will be especially pleased with you."

Tell her very seriously, "Pineapples are out of fashion, Chrome. But you what _is_ in fashion? Melons!"

*Insert evil grin*

Give her a Daemon Spade haircut. (When she's sleeping, of course!)

In the Future Arc, swap her Kokuyo uniform into a Namimori one.

Pop up everywhere she is and yell 'I SEE MUKURO' whenever you see her.

Whenever you see Mukuro say, "IT'S THE CREEPER!" and run away screaming.

Give her pineapples all the time. In fact, fill her room with them.

Tell her, "You know, I'm totally not surprised that Mukuro's box weapon is an owl because owls are the creepiest birds of all. They stalk you all the time and _only at night_. Totally like something Mukuro would do, right?"

Write creepy stalker notes to her like 'I'm watching you' and 'I know what you're doing' all the time.

Tell her that she likes a pedo (Hey, as previously stated, Mukuro has _got_ to be at _least_ 480).

Give her a photo of M.M. and Mukuro together.

Ask her if she likes Hibari or Mukuro.

Tell her that Mukuro is enraged at her for kissing Tsuna on the cheek during the ring battles.

Die her hair green and give her a yellow dress. If she asks why, tell her it's to enhance her 'pineapple-ness'.

Suggest her to watch Spongebob Square Pants. If she asks why, it's the same reason as above. (Remember! Spongebob lives in a pineapple!)

Tell her that Mukurou eats little birdies like Hibird.

* * *

><p>Phew! *wipes sweat off forehead* wasn't that a speedy update? But between me and all of you, I didn't like that one so much.<p>

REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! IF YOU REVIEW I WRITE FASTER! REVIEWS SUSTAIN MY LIFE! THEY ARE MY SOURCE OF ENERGY! _**I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT REVIEWS!**_

Stay in tune for the next chapter:

**Chapter 14: Target 14: Miura Haru**


	14. Chapter 14: Target 14: Miura Haru

Sorry for the time it took for this chapter! I'll try and post the next one quickly!

I won't keep you waiting, but … gosh… I'm gonna have _so_ much fun writing this chapter.

Oh right, and for those of you who ship 5986 (GokuHaru) … you're in for a treat XD

**Disclaimer: KHR never has been, or will be mine. And if it were, there'd be **_**so**_** much more Hibari.**

**XOXOXOXOXO**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 14: Target 14: Miura Haru

**TAKING ACTION IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY ADVISED AS STRESS RELIEVER. GO ALL OUT; TARGET IS NOT DANGEROUS!**

Tell Tsuna very loudly, "You know what? Only people that are mentally unstable refer to themselves in third person."

Rent a bulldozer and run over the cake chop that she and Kyoko go to each month.

If you don't want to get into trouble with the police, then you can set her scale as twenty pounds heavier than what it's supposed to be.

Draw a mustache onto Tsuna's face with permanent marker. In lime green.

Hang Tsuna on the tallest branch of the tallest tree you can find in Namimori, and don't let him down until Haru professes her undying and eternal love to Gokudera and calls Kyoko and Haru a '_cute couple'_.

Lock her and Gokudera into a closet when they're both drunk (sneak something into their drinks if necessary) and keep them there for a night.

Open the door when you're sure they're asleep and take as many pictures as possible.

Threaten to post the photos onto Facebook or the Vongola bulletin board and blackmail them into dating each other for two months.

Stalk them and take pictures of all those awkward moments when they do something stupid…but always end up as one of those 'AWWW' moments.

Tell her that Tsuna constantly fills Reborn's head with thoughts about the Mafia (it technically hasn't been proven to _her_ that he hasn't been 'corrupting' Reborn's mind with the Mafia and other goody violent stuff. Not that the rest of us don't know.)

Show her photos of Tsuna sending 'those looks' towards Kyoko.

Tell Bianchi that Haru wants to learn how to cook from her.

Force Tsuna to eat Haru's Poison style cooking and if he refuses, whisper to her, "See? He doesn't want your cooking…Only Kyoko's." If he doesn't refuse, and falls down to the ground in a dead faint because of the poison, whisper to her, "See? He dislikes your cooking so much that he fainted. Tsk tsk tsk, Haru. If you don't know how to cook properly, then how will you _ever_ have a proper household life?"

**XOXOXOXOXO**

YES! I AM FINALLY DONE! I'M SO PROUD OF ME! :'D

Thanks all of you who waited for this chapter and stuck through this fic with me! Your love is appreciated and wanted!

NEXT CHAPTER: MYSTERY PERSON UPON REQUEST.


	15. Chapter 15: Target 15: Fran

I was so sure I updates just last week ==

But then again, maybe not.

ARGH. It's ok. Summer break's here now, I'll probably get more updates in. But then, that's what I said last time.

So scratch that.

BUT ANYWAYS.  
>I promised a list of the people I'd 'annoy' last time to a few reviewers so here it is!<p>

Fran

Mammon

Lussuria

Ipin

.

.

.

Tsuna is last!

HAPPY READING! THANKS AGAIN!

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 15: Target 15: Fran

**WARNING! TAKING PART IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING MAY BE AS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH AS CHAPTER SEVEN (TARGET YAMAMOTO TAKESHI) IF NOT EVEN MORESO. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.**

Bribe Bel to swap Fran's frog hat into a frilly pink bow tie.

Die his hair a matching color.

Tell him that Belphegor ditched him for Gokudera.

Bribe all the Varia cooks (with Mammon's money, of course) to serve Fran _only flies_. If he complains, just say, "It's what frogs eat, right?"

Decorate his room with a 'pond' décor. (Mukuro and Mammon can help!)

Burn down Bel's room and tell him that Fran did it.

Persuade Bel to live in Fran's room while he's on a mission.

While you go shopping for clothes, _conveniently_ decide that you'll buy some things for Fran too and just _pop by_ the girl's section of those shops that you love…

And you know that shop with the cute accessories that opened just last week? Yeah, go there too…

Needless to say, force Fran into whatever you buy (it'd better be good, kids, it'd _better_ be good) and show Belphegor (or Mukuro, if you like it that way).

Remember to capture their beautiful reactions on camera, darlings~

Show Gokudera the photo of Bel and Fran, and show Chrome and Hibari the photo of Mukuro and Fran.

Poor Fran will have a minimum of at _least_ three _very_ dangerous people on his tail for months.

Make a sign that says 'BEL'S UN-CUTE KOUHAI'and stick it on Fran's forehead.

For a birthday gift, give him a jar of flies and tell him, "I spent a _lot_ n them! They're a real delicacy so you'd better appreciate! You see, that one there is imported from Africa and it's one of the _rarest species of flies in the world_. I know right? You're so _lucky_ I got them for you! Now eat up!"

Tell Belphegor that Fran actually likes having people (or rather a certain _person_) stick knives in his back; he's a masochist, you see.

After Bel mauls him until he's nearly dead, get Lussuria to heal him and 'conveniently' forget to trim his hair. Die it pink again and braid it.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

YES! I DID IT! I ACTUALLY UPDATED! OMG! THE WORLD HAS ENDED! XD

LEAVE A REVIEW PLEASE! :D

NEXT CHAPTER:

**How to Annoy KHR Characters**

Chapter 16: Target 16: Mammon

:D LOL Mammon is _so_ dead.


	16. Chapter 16: Target 16: Mammon

HEY GUYS LOOK LOOK LOOK IT'S A NEW CHAPTER!  
>*Note: Mammon will be referred to as a male in this fanfic.<p>

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 16: Target 16: Mammon

**WARNING! TAKING PART IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH! TAKING PART IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING MAY RESULT IN MENTAL INSTABILITY OR STRANGULATION BY TOILET PAPER! YOU ARE FORWARNED! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!**

Threaten to burn all of his money if he doesn't dress up as a girl. Keep half of it even if he does.

Go on shopping sprees in Paris every so often.

Travel across the world every week.

Buy the most expensive food you can find and hire five star maids and butlers for the Varia mansion.

Convince Xanxus that the Varia mansion needs reconstruction…by pissing him off and making him destroy his study.

Pick the most expensive wallpaper, the most expensive tiling, the most expensive furniture…etc.

Pick a fight between Squalo and Belphegor and laugh as they destroy the new chandelier you guys got just a week ago.

While he's halfway finished a mission run up to him and tell him that Squalo accidentally spilled a cup of orange juice on his money. All of it.

Watch as he panics and leaves people with their guts still hanging halfway outside of their bodies to rush back to mourn the loss of him money.

Laugh as Xanxus hurls wine (actually, just liquor in general) bottles and cups towards him and yells for not completing his mission properly.

Forget to turn of _all the lights_ in the Varia mansion for a month.

Force him to wear a toad hat with the remaining money you have. Tell him that he and Fran will be matching and maybe Bel will like him a bit more if he's like that.

Make paper airplanes out of twenty dollar bills. Hundred dollar bills if _you_ think it's more worth it than shopping.

Buy brand name shirts to use as toilet paper, if you really want to.

Tell him that Bel likes Fran _so much more_.

Threaten him (with the money that you kept) to make an illusion to make himself seem like Levi for a month. Now _that's_ embarrassing.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

OK GUYS, THIS CHAPTER IS OFFICIALLY DONE! I TOLD YOU I'L UPDATE! :D

Remember to drop by a review~ And I also wrote a HibarixOC fic so I'd be really glad if any of you could check it out ^^". I have nearly no experience writing an actual fanfiction so I'm kinda nervous~

So next up is:

Chapter 17: Target 17: Lussuria


	17. Chapter 17: Target 17: Lussuria

HEY GUYS GUYS! IT'S ANOTHER CHAPTER OMG IT _IS_.

lol, yeah so on with the show!

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

**How to Annoy KHR Characters.**

Chapter 17: Target 17: Lussuria

**WARNING! TAKING PART IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IS HIGHLY HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH! AUTHOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MAIMING, PUNCHING, KICKING OR ABNORMALY LONG FACIAL HAIR! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.**

When he tells the new recruits to call him 'Mama-Lussuria', yell, "No, it's Papa-Luss! Squalo's the mom!"

Throw all of his designer clothes away and rip them up. Use some as rags or doormats.

When he's sleeping, die his hair black and then cut his nails to make them all scraggly and rough. Smother soot all over his face and steal all his jewellery.

Replace his rings with those cheap dollar store ones (you know, the ones that come in packs of fifty?).

Take a can of orange juice (or any type of juice) powder and empty the contents into his showerhead. If you're feeling Asian you can try using tea instead… **HINT: Tea bags are less messy!**

Cultivate a colony of snails in his closet. 'Conveniently' forget to clean up after them…

Did you know that snails eat cotton when they're hungry? Use the information wisely, my dears.

Tell him, "Even though Ryohei is _your_ type doesn't mean you're _his_."

Ask him what gender he is.

When he isn't paying attention change all of his accounts' information from **Gender: Female** to **Gender: Other**.

Make him mow the lawn with scissors. If he protests, just say, "The lawn has to be _perfect_ just like your hair, Lussuria." That will get him to do it for sure.

Tell him that muay thai is overrated because tai-chi is the way to go!

Make him a batch of cookies, but purposely burn them. If he asks why, just tell him innocently, "Eh? I thought Luss-nii would want some cookies because your own cookies are even worse!"

Make sure you put weird things like ketchup, rice, and worms into them.

Bonus points if anyone else eats them!

Decorate his room with…dirt, soot, mud, and paint. Have fun, kiddies.

If you're feeling exceptionally mean, steal his ring and box-weapon (that he spent hours decorating with glitter and fluffy pink pom-poms) and spray-paint them with green, yellow, orange and any other color you can think about. And we all know what happens when you mix a bunch of random colors together…

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Off with the show!

LOL sorry guys, I didn't really like this chapter that much…. D: ….But I hope you guys liked it! I'll work harder on the next one!

Stay in-tuned for:

Chapter 18: Target 18: I-pin!

*Also, does anyone have requests?


End file.
